I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
