Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
