it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
