If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
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just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
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Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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