taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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