I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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