Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
