Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
