Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize