Will you blow on my dice?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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