Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
two words...techno handjob
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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