Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
