I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
