it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
