me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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