"it" just moved
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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