So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
