Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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