Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
