you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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