Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
