he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Randomize
