Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
