I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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