So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
