Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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