It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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