Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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