im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
