Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Holy shit dude........stairs
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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