Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
