Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
