He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
