I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize