It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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