The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
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Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
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Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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