Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
