If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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