There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
