I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
