Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
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you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
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I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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