Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
