have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
