That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just google imaged poop.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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