People in love make me want to vomit
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
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no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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