There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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