is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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