Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
