How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
