remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
