Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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