ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
