after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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