But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
