Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
