just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
