Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
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