She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
