I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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