Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
