So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
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Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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