Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
