I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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