Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
