i jhust puked up my retainher.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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